So, there I was . . . working after school to feed my need for clothes and cool things and then my NEED for food. I say need for food, since by this time I was acting like an addict. I was sneaking food into my bedroom & supplying my younger brother with food so that he wouldn’t rat me out. It was common at this time, as I moved into High School, to eat an entire half gallon of ice cream in one night while drinking half or more of a 6pk or Root Beer [favorite youth soda].
This was a pretty regular basis, maybe only once in a two week period; but it started something that I would not overcome until almost 2 decades later. I would also go out to eat after eating dinner and eat again, but something that I was craving or just wanted because I had money in my pocket. As you can see this behavior was very bad for me; in part or at the same time, I became a stress eater. Oh yeah! That made things worse.
I don’t remember gaining weight, I don’t even remember, being self-conscience until I was in High School. Then I suddenly became very aware of my weight; but I didn’t think that I could do anything about it. I still remember the day that I weighted in at 293lbs, I was visiting a friend in Fort Worth. I don’t remember putting on the rest of the weight. It was just there.
At some point I tried a few diets with my mother, they didn’t work. I believe that it was because I didn’t understand myself or my connection to food. I learned a little here & a little there. Then, in college, I had a cross county runner for a roommate & he ate all the time & he ate more than I did! What he ate was very different from my usually fair.
wil becker
2009.04.01
